Ugggg

It's really all I have to say.......Ugggg. So I am still feeling paralyzed. What is this? I don't want to be near anyone, I really don't. I would dream of a day away, a weekend, a week, a month. A time where I didn't get interrupted by anything, questions, calls, chores, tasks, ANYTHING. I never seem to be able to complete a thought or task, everything seems to get highjacked by something. I don't want to physically do anything, no desire what so ever. Just sit. Not interested in adventures, writing, reading, talking or doing. I don't feel sad........just tired, numb and really "concern less" if that makes any sense? People (as well as myself) have asked, "depression?" But depression seems so much more Eeyore like. Glumb, oh whoa is me, the world sucks, I hate life, etc. I'm not like that. I just want to stop and do nothing. REST and quit being interrupted. I am just completely sick of selfish people. No one calls to pray, uplift, encourage, help, serve, etc. only to want, need or complain. I have done this. I have surrounded myself with these types of people. It is my fault. I am changing. I am searching and reevaluating my sphere of influence. I just seem annoyed and disappointed in everyone and everything. It's burdening me so how selfish people are. I'm overwhelmed. Does anyone really care? Are people really this self-centered? Who is it that we can turn to? Who is it that will not suck the life out of us? Who is it that gives? Lord, help me. Help me to see those who will hold up my arms in a world that needs so much. Maybe it's me. Maybe I am way off here and there is nothing that I have been facing that's so bad. I have health, life, a future, a home, shelter, an incredible husband, healthy kids. What more do I want? Maybe everyone that is bothering me is just a reflection of myself. Maybe I am sucking the life out of me. I lean to Him and His Holy Spirit to guide me and reveal my true heart. I just want out of this funk. Lord, do with me what needs to be done......as scary as that may be to think about! Love, Crazy